The crack team of researchers at the Republican National Committee have come up with another blockbuster story: President Likes Dogs.
Oh, that'll do the trick. Quick, Republicans, find more images of President Joe Biden acknowledging dogs. That'll put your seditionist document hoarder back in the White House for sure!
Ahem. For the record—and we are going to go slow here so as to not confuse RNC head Ronna née Romney McDaniel and her minions—there are established social norms governing what should happen when in the presence of a dog that everybody follows, aside from true sociopaths.